It took four months...

...but I found one. What you may ask?



The Lazy Coworker (TLC)



TLC is the coworker that is just full of shit. Not just regular shit I might add, I'm talking about 93 Octane Supreme shit. I've worked various odd jobs and have yet to be proven wrong. Some common characteristics of the elusive TLC are:

1. Listening in on every conversation, often chiming in with his own personal knowledge. He or she will speak with confidence: very convincing to those who don't know otherwise. They will go off on tangents in an effort to provide substantial evidence that what he or she is saying is true.

2. Befriending those in higher positions. He or she will know other employees in higher positions on a first name basis in hopes that their relationship will pay off further down the road. This is usually a subconscious effort on their part. They don't know their Shoremone's (shit-hormones) are being secreted from their T-glands (turd glands), working their way up the body, and controlling their vocal chords.

3. Putting off work for others to finish. Haphazardly moving about in an attempt to appear to be working. When an obstacle is present they will ask for help no matter how trivial. Later on break, they will start a conversation about it and blow it out of proportion.

TLC detected. Commence Operation TLC Sabotage. I do it because: in this particular job I can.