The Red Carpet

During my trek to the east coast this weekend I had quite an encounter involving a red carpet.

United Airlines provides a service called the United Red Carpet Club which accommodates its members with a lounge full of various amenities ranging from free coffee, big comfy chairs, and wifi access.

I am not a member.

Ted, as in UniTED (UA's new marketing scheme following the lines of WaMu), even goes as far to provide members with their very own line to board the plane. Here let me show you (click on it for a bigger size):




The boarding call went like this:

1. "We would first like to board our Red Carpet Members. Calling all red carpet members we are now boarding"

2. "We are now boarding those passengers who require extra time and assistance." This means people in wheelchairs and people with small children.

3. Standard boarding procedure. First class, then group 3, group 2, and finally group 1. The rear of the plane boards first when it comes to economy class.

I was in the group 2 economy so I knew it would take a while before I would be able to board. My reason for standing for where I was: that also was the area where I was sitting and waiting for an hour.

There I was standing with my ticket in hand, looking at this red carpet line; anticipating at least one passenger to go through. The staff even goes as far as removing the belt in front of you while you walk through it. But alas, no one came during the full seven minutes of the Red Carpet boarding call.

During the call almost every passenger was standing around looking at this lady talking on the PA. People shaking their heads, the look of dissatisfaction expressed in 40 different forms. Around minute 6 the employee on the PA lowered her mic, looked directly at me, and mouthed something.

I had my Zune on and was watching some music video.

"SIR...EXCUSE ME--SIR. PLEASE-STEP-OFF-THE-RED-CARPET." I didn't hear a word of this. What I did was slowly decipher her lip movement with a puzzled look on my face and music blasting through my earbuds. I knew what she was saying, but I did this anyway.

I ripped off my earphones and tilted my head signaling the "Repeat that?" gesture.

"You're stepping on the Red Carpet PLEASE GET OFF."

And I did. I stepped back, looked down, and gave her an "Oh shit" smile. My foot, excuse me, my TOE was touching the red carpet. I had been so relaxed, so tranced that my leg extended under the belt and the front of my foot had settled onto a piece of this carpet.

Looking around me everyone had the same expression. I wasn't embarrassed. The energy in the air was just "wow" with the thought of "unbelievable..."

Imagine the looks that future Red Carpet members will get walking through this line from even one of the 40 passengers who saw this go down.

The Red Carpet...don't fuck with it.